It is with the deepest sadness that we have to share the news that our dearest companion, Barbara, died peacefully, without warning, at home this week. Although we were due to have a Sabbath this Sunday, we met with other close friends of hers at the bandstand, where she had been with us just a week ago. The following are the words we used….
So, this is so utterly surreal. Barbara was standing here with us this time last week…. We are all still reeling and struggling to compute what has happened.
Before we begin – thank you to all Barbara’s friends who have joined us – you know how special this time and place were to her – and whether you share her faith or not, she’d be delighted that you are here and would want to say to you to feel at ease here – feel the peace here – this is a thin place where the gap between heaven and earth is less…. Join in or opt out as you feel fit. And be assured we are all on the edge – if not over it already – so tears are Ok – let’s see how we go!
We usually start with a time of silence and stillness, so let’s do that and take a few deep breaths. We are all in this together – we are here because of love.
Almost 3 years ago to the day, we stood with Barbara here 2 days after Grayden had died. We used words similar to those on the sheet you have – which tried to express how devastating it is to lose someone whilst clinging onto the hope that we share that death is not the end. We have changed the words for today. Please join in the bold words if you are able.
Today we stand in the tension of sadness and hope
We come to you Lord Jesus
We come to protest against how suddenly Barbara was taken from us
We set our hope in you
We protest against the distress felt by Matthew and Emma, Liz and the grandchildren and all of Barbara’s friends in these last few days
We ask for your comfort, healing and hope
We affirm that we cannot pretend, and will not pretend, that death is anything less than an affront to you, Bringer of Life
We stand defiant in the hope that you promise to make all things new
We give you thanks for the life and witness of Barbara, for her unshakable commitment to the poor and the marginalised and to Kingdom Justice
May her example spur us on to live authentically like her
We thank you for the courageous way she adapted to life apart from Grayden and for her determination to say yes to life, to creativity, to relationships, to adventure and joy.
May we strive to live WELL as she has done
We thank you that Barbara is reunited with Grayden and those other resurrected saints that she has loved and journeyed with. Thank you that she is alive in and with you, loving God.
Neither death nor life can separate us from your love.
And we thank you for the privilege of knowing our companion Barbara, for her part in the founding of ThirdSpace and its direction and essence, for all we have learnt from her, for the times spent together, for the overlap of our lives
We look to our reunion with her in the renewed earth, to drinking wine exceeding the finest Barossa and to feasting at the table prepared for us all
Let us hold firmly to this hope
The One who promised is faithful.
***
Words of soothing and consolation:
In the vastness of the universe, or even the vastness of our own planet and of our species, we are made significant and of value in him and by him.
In God we live and move and have our being
Take time to listen to the birdsong….
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matt 10, 29)
In God we live and move and have our being
Take time to look around at this special place…
1 Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
in the heavens.
2 Through the praise of children and infants
you have established a stronghold against your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?
5 You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honour.
6 You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
you put everything under their feet:
7 all flocks and herds,
and the animals of the wild,
8 the birds in the sky,
and the fish in the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
9 Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth! (Psalm 8 (Barbara’s favourite Psalm)
In God we live and move and have our being
Close your eyes and be mindful of yourself…
23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24 For,
“All people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
25 but the word of the Lord endures forever.”
And this is the word that was preached to you. (1 Peter 1:23-25)
In God we live and move and have our being
God is here – be still…
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. (2 Cor 4. 7)
In God we live and move and have our being
We are made significant and of value in God and by God.
***
Paul then invited us to write things we associated with Barbara…
We shared bread and wine – as we have done with Barbara each week over more than 15 years here each Sunday and at each shared meal.
***
And I closed with a blessing using the words below:
We finish with words of blessing from a book of blessings that Barbara used often and loved. Barbara loved to write and give blessings – she was passionate about them. Indeed I stongly suspect that each of us here was a recipient of a blessing by Barbara, whether we were aware of it at the time of onot. This blessing ends with the concept of Anam Cara – which means in Gaelic ‘soul friend’. The anam cara was a person to whom you could reveal the hidden depths of your life. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. And I suspect that the capital A and C at the end, hint of the ultimate Soul Friend that Barbara loved and served so well, most of her life.
This blessing exemplifies who she was as a friend and what, I think, she would want to say to us and bless us with today:
For friendship.
May you be blessed with good friends,
And learn to be a good friend to yourself.
Journeying to that place in your soul where
There is love, warmth and feeling.
May this change you.
May it transfigure what is negative, distant
Or cold within your heart.
May you be brought into real passion, kindness
And belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them, be there for them
And receiving all the challenges, truth and light you need.
May you never be isolated but know the embrace
Of your Anam Cara. (Benedictus – John O’Donohue)
No words can express how much we love you and will miss you Barbara – our companion on the jounrey. We take comfort that you are another resurrected ThirdSpace saint, reunited with Grayden and Tony and Chris…
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